Going into college and taking a course that I don’t consider to be the ideal profession for me, I had to make a lot of sacrifices both intentionally and unintentionally to finish all the requirements for graduating on schedule. The obvious of which was setting on hold what I really wanted to take. This post is not about ranting or regrets, its about getting back some of the things I lost unintentionally.

Of course things change and I can never be as I used to but I lost a huge part of my “high school” self and I miss that part of me. I miss being open minded, I miss intellectual conversations, I miss going out to concerts, I miss getting into the music that I listen to, I miss poetry, I miss thinking out of the box. I still have those things in college but they just weren’t the same.

In high school, I used to do those things because it was my way of exploring the world, to understand it better so that I can make my interpretation of it and share with friends. Which is unlike my experience in college because I did those things as a form of escape, to be free from stress and frustrations.

Now that I’ve graduated from college, I’ve lost touch of that part of me again … call it anhedonia, whatever. I just want to live my life again the way I used to (only better ofcourse). So, I decided that to get me acquainted with that part of my highschool self that I lost. I’m going to “relive” some of the things that have influenced me back then.

First on my list is to watch the Matrix trilogy all over again. It’s one of my favorite movies because it inspired me to think beyond the circle that I lived in. In itself, the movie is quite cheesy quite frankly but the way the Wachowski brothers blended concepts of computers, Roman Catholicism, humanity into the movie made it revolutionary.